Before I began storming on about this idea of “refreshing” your friends circle, I looked up some articles that focused on something along the same lines. I came across a great read, and it truly changed my perspective and most definitely enlightened me!
The idea that not everyone will always bring us up is an idea that we all keep in the back of our minds. It is important to take note whenever possible to your surroundings and to the people you associate with. Ask yourself, are these people bringing me up, or are they dragging me down?
And if they are bringing me up, then I need them in my life. But if they are dragging me down, then what is it that is within my own self, that is allowing any sort of negativity to bring me down. What does this have to say about my own strengths and weaknesses?
I think more often than not we find it easier to blame others for our own state of mind and overlook the fact that this other person who may be struggling, needs our help more than ever. Instead, we focus on how they are effecting our lives. This is a negative approach. Alternatively, our positivity should bring a state of healing to their lives, as much as it would to our own.
Do you see what I’m saying? In other words, two negatives do NOT make a positive! If you have someone negative in your life and they aren’t bringing you any good, then it’s time to really dig deep into your own self and recognize the positivity that you could be bringing to them, instead of focusing on the negativity they’re bringing to you, and allowing it to consume your life.
If there is anything that I have learned in the last four to six years, it is that elimination is not the solution. Elimination creates hostility which in turn boils up to something even more negative than its initial state. I am not perfect, and I too have in the past cut people out of my friends circle because they did not “bring value to my life”. But soon enough I realized, that was not the solution.
Why? Why can’t I eliminate and start fresh with “positive” people? It’s because the “negative” people in our lives bring a challenge to our lives. They force us to think about ourselves and more importantly about others. Everyone has their own journey and not everyone you meet will vibe with you. That is a truth I am slowly but surely accepting. How you allow this to effect your life is determined by the level of your understanding, along with your own strengths and weaknesses.
What do I mean by understanding your own strength and weaknesses? If you’re allowing an external being to enter your core and mess around with it’s balance, then you need to focus on your own self-improvement and strengthen it so that no one can enter in and break it down, instead of focusing on the negativity that this other person may intentionally or unintentionally be bringing to your life. After all, we can only change what we control.
All in all, approach every person with kindness, even though they may have wronged you, or may have tried to sabotage your relationships. Even IF they wish you ill, you cannot control their inner battle, but you can definitely determine its effect on you.
Have you struggled with negative people? What is your perspective? What have you done in the past and what do you plan to do in the future? Let me know! Comment below!